It makes more sense to accept his decision, give him time, and hope that he eventually starts to see things differently
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently moved to another city to be with my boyfriend, who was offered a better job and believed it would be great for us. I agreed with him because we have been dating for three years and think it’s time to take our relationship to another stage. My problem is homesickness and how it affects my relationship with him. I love him a lot but when he’s at work and I have no one to talk to, it makes me miss my family and friends to such an extent that I question everything about this arrangement. I want to make it work but I also worry that if I can’t handle things at such an early stage, what will happen if we marry and move to another place permanently? How do I manage this?
Try and think about your homesickness as separate from your relationship and why you made this decision. The idea of moving away from family and friends will be hard no matter what your reason, but the other alternative that appears in this situation, if you choose to move back, is being apart from your boyfriend. The solution is to weigh your priorities and start having conversations about what you both think your future will be like. Talk about what you want from this relationship, as well as for yourselves, because it will allow you to find a solution that works even if it comes across as a compromise. It is important to not lose sight of the big picture, because everything else is a matter of details that can be rearranged.
How do I convince someone to get into a relationship with me when he says he is not ready even though I know he is? I really like him, and think he is just confused.
The first mistake would be to assume you know what he wants better than he does. It makes more sense to accept his decision, give him time, and hope that he eventually starts to see things differently.
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