Scared to tell him how I feel...

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 23-year old woman and have been working with a guy I really like for a few months now. He and I get along well, and I think I like him a lot. We are also the same age, and I know he is single because I have checked out his profile on Facebook. I have caught him looking at me a few times and I sometimes feel as if he likes me too, but I am too afraid to say anything directly. I have always been very shy, and this has often come in the way of how I communicate with a lot of people. I don't want to let this go just because I am afraid of the consequences, but I worry that if he doesn't reciprocate in a positive manner, I will be unable to speak to him again. I also worry that it will make things harder for me in future because I will overthink everything about how to talk about my feelings.
The idea that saying what's on your mind ought to lead to something may be the problem here. You like this person and want to communicate that idea but also believe there may be some form of rejection. It's understandable that this may cause you pain, but the way to deal with this is to restrict what you want to give away. You don't have to tell him how you feel, nor do you have to say anything about emotions. You can simply try and chat more, about other things, and focus on building levels of comfort. This will also encourage him to be more open about himself. Not everyone can discuss their feelings, but there are often non-verbal cues that can be given and picked up if you know what to look for. Try eating a meal together, and work towards asking him if he would consider meeting outside your working environment. If he refuses, it will allow you both to walk away from this without any awkwardness.

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