02 May,2025 03:49 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
Image for representational purpose only. Photo Courtesy: istock
Relationships are not easy, and in fact, romantic ones are quite complex not only for singles but also those who are with their partners. While different generations may have their own perspectives, the awareness about the nature of them has also changed, leading many people to find their own kind of solace.
Sybil Shiddell, relationship manager, Gleeden India, says, "We do not liveâin a world of intimacy limited to physical proximity. We live in a worldâwhere a late-night conversation feels like it's worth more than a thousand silent dinners. Where, being seen, heard and understood even digitally can be an emotional tether. And that's not betrayal. That's an unmet need. More than 66 per cent of Indian women on the app claim to have joined the app for emotional companionship and not to have an affair. It's a telling statistic that reads the narrative backward. It's not about betrayal. It'sâabout being there emotionally for someone who is in need of it and often when their partner has not been."
"It was just a chat" - which is so totally fine
The expert says, not every chat is flirty, and not all flirting is predatory. Some just need a safeâspace to feel vulnerable, expressive or alive again. When someone says,â"It was just a chat", usually it means, "I finally felt heard". The app's data bears this emotional complexity out:âalmost 78 per cent of their users chat regularly, not just sexually. These are not steamy flings. Such are stories told, feelings affirmed, stress unloaded to someone who really listens. It's often not so much aboutâwho the person is but how they make you feel.
Privacyâis not secrecy - it is self-preservation
Not everyone who protects their phone is hiding something dirty. Sometimes it's a deeply personal conversation, in which they're finally able to unload, free fromâjudgment, dismissal or ridicule. Data from the app's research backs up this emotional nuance: 63 per cent of their users have ongoing, non-sexual chats. These are not steamy flings. These are stories told, feelings validated, stress unloaded to someoneâwho really listens. Often, it's not so much who theâperson is, but how they make you feel.
The 'Right to Privacy': How to talk andâwhy
Let's dispel a myth: Not everyone who protects their phone is concealing something scandalous. Often, it's a private moment ofâreleasing something heavy, a conversation in which they're no longer judged, dismissed or belittled. According to research by the app, 1 out of 3 users utilise chats for emotional support, not necessarily for any physical pursuit. They're not being dishonest, they're being defensive of the one domain where their feelings can breathe. Not betrayal, it's boundary-setting,âoccasionally essential for survival in an emotionally desiccated environment.
A heart emoji is more than flirting
That heartâemoji or that "You looked lovely today" text in your inbox? It isn't just aboutâsexual desire. Atâtimes it's about validation. The kind that says, "You're stillâimportant". And no, thatâdoesn't mean they love their partner less, it means they are trying to love themselves a little more. The research has further found that more than 60 per cent of emotional bonds start as light, positive exchanges onâsocial media. Why is this, do you think? A compliment, a laugh, or a shared meme - all examples to show how humans acknowledge each other. It isn't deception. It is dopamine working its magic.
Emotional partners are remedies and not replacements
Your partner forming some kind of bond with another person does not have to be viewed as the end of your relationship. In fact, it can be some form of help being sought. Most people who stray don't do so because of a lack of love. It's actually more about them being lonely. The app's survey reveals that approx 55 per cent of users did not feel acknowledged by their partner. Emotional infidelity is never premeditated. It's a by-product of silence, unmet needs, and routine. The other person isn't necessarily the enemy. They are simply the reflection.
Shiddell explains, "Perhaps some changes regarding the definition of fidelity need to be made. Remaining faithful does not equate to emotional singularity. Sometimes, being human means requiring multiple emotional outlets. This doesn't signify that love is losing meaning; rather, suggests the fact that we are evolving. This raises one question: What other emotional needs are hiding behind words left unspoken?"