Your physical needs are as important as your emotional ones, and his refusal to acknowledge it is a sign that your relationship isn’t strong
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been trying to figure out if my boyfriend still loves me after two years of being together, and I don’t have an answer. On some days, it feels as if everything is okay between us, but a majority of days are about short conversations, no real talk about our personal lives, and just movie dates where we don’t have to interact with each other much. I sometimes feel like just asking him if he wants to end this because it feels so artificial, but I don’t say anything because I think I am afraid of finding out. Maybe I have been lying to myself for a while and don’t know what I will do if he says he doesn’t care about me anymore. Is there anything I can do to fix this relationship in some way instead of asking him anything?
The notion of fixing something implies that you can, and that your partner is a spectator instead of an active participant. No one likes to know that they aren’t loved anymore, but you owe yourself an answer because being in a relationship that is forced is worse than not being in one at all. If it has to be saved, it can only when the two of you accept that a problem exists. Skirting around the issue won’t make it go away on its own. It’s also possible that he doesn’t see things the same way you do, in which case a direct conversation becomes more critical. No relationship can evolve through silence.
My partner has only made love to me twice over the past year and I don’t know how to cope with it. He loves me a lot but never says a word about why he has no physical desire. I am heartbroken about this and don’t know how to react.
Your physical needs are as important as your emotional ones, and his refusal to acknowledge it is a sign that your relationship isn’t strong. Ask him to consider meeting with a counsellor.
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