You can then consider speaking to a professional, provided this is something you both want to try and work on, going forward.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 28-year-old woman and don’t like getting physically intimate with my partner. This has been the case for almost a year, which is when we got together. I don’t know if other people feel the same way because, whenever my friends talk about their relationships, it feels as if I am the odd one out. I don’t know if it’s because of my partner, and not something to do with myself. Is it a sign that we are not exactly compatible? There is nothing else wrong with our relationship, but I worry that this is a red flag because we are supposed to enjoy physical intimacy. What should I do?
You should try focusing on other aspects of your relationship, to remind yourself of why you choose to be in it. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel, because intimacy cannot be forced and can sometimes take time to evolve. Speaking to your partner about this is critical because you need to know if he feels the same way. Try opening up about what exactly you don’t like, think about what you might, and take it slow. Sometimes, it takes a while to get to a place of emotional comfort before the physical act starts to feel more meaningful. If nothing changes, and you don’t feel as if there is any evolution in the way you and your partner grow together, it may be a sign that your relationship needs something else. You can then consider speaking to a professional, provided this is something you both want to try and work on, going forward.
Is it normal to be insecure about my boyfriend’s personal history and his relationships with other women before I entered his life?
Yes, it’s normal to feel insecure, but it’s also a sign that you need to work on building trust. This takes time, but strong relationships are about people comfortable with discussing their past lives, and you have to remind yourself that you will both get there eventually.
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