On slippery terrain

Representation pic

Sir PM looked as if he was set to head out for a monsoon trek - raincoat, sturdy rainproof walking boots and a walking stick - the last prop made Lady Flora wonder if he had a fall. It was unbearably humid despite the steady sea breeze that was blowing across the Oval Maidan, while they were taking their stroll. Their pace was slowed down by Sir PM's lugging of his rain gear in a waterproof tote that came with a zipper. She glanced every now and then to check if her friend was alright, and chose to not speak until he did, given that he was gasping for breath.

He finally did, after he got used to this excess baggage. "My Lady, you must surely be wondering why I am lugging this around," he smiled, sheepishly. "Well, it's all for my protection. You would have also witnessed the pre-monsoon showers that hit the city last week. Dare I ask if you were caught in the downpour and the aftermath. Unfortunately, I was. I was in the middle of my usual evening chai session on the balcony, when the wife requested me to head to Byculla station to pick up her cousin who was arriving from Surat. I should have sensed that it was an inauspicious sign when I spotted raindrops dripping into my chai. By the time I reached Byculla things worsened; the familiar traffic snarls, and the muck flowing out of untreated drains. It was the pits. To add to the melee, my footwear couldn't handle the messy roads, and I took a near full dive near Khada Parsi statue near a non-footpath; thank goodness for an agile taxiwallah on his chai break, who spotted my loss of balance and grabbed me before I did a full tumble. I swear I could see Seth Cursetjee Manockjee Shroff guffaw at my plight from the corner of his mouth, despite my horizontal position. Luckily, the cousin and I returned home unscathed from any further trauma. Who knows I would have been six feet under by now," he sighed.

"Come on! Will you stop exaggerating, Pheroze?" checked Lady Flora, aware of his penchant to add masala to his exploits. "I am extremely sorry that you got caught on that horrid day. I was stuck at my pedestal, and perhaps spared the misery because of the summertime crowds. Yes, I did get wind of the fact that the city is unprepared, with the monsoon barely a month away. It is quite worrying, after I read about the damage it caused in the newspapers. I did a bit of sneaking around the following afternoon, and discovered that a LOT was left to be done; especially in areas around railway stations and the Metro line project work. The uncleared debris in several sections isn't ideal, and can cause issues with traffic movement when the monsoon hits us," she warned.

By now Sir PM looked tired, and so they decided to sit down on the cool grass, for a change. "I hope my whites don't get too dirty," Lady Flora gave her seating area a hawk-eye scan before making herself comfortable on the turf. Sir PM didn't really care, as he gulped down half-a-litre of water from his flask. Refreshed, he resumed the conversation. "I don't see how they are going to rectify things in record time. And that's usually what leads to shoddy touch-up jobs, making it more problematic when we get a non-stop downpour for days on end. It was appalling, really, to see how traffic was worming its way, and that commuters, as usual, were affected while trying to reach home. Worse, lives were lost because of tree falls. Shouldn't all these pre-monsoon responsibilities have been looked into by now?"

Lady Flora was a wee bit distracted by the flying cricket balls that were orbiting not very far from where they were seated. "I think we should walk on the pavement outside the maidan; it's one of the few decent footpaths, thanks to those tough-as-nails citizens who reside in these Art Deco buildings nearby. They have been such amazing watchdogs and custodians of this area for decades now." Sir PM's walking stick came handy as he got back on his feet. "You're right; these citizens ensure that the area is in top shape. But what about our entire city? I wish there were similar guardian-like visionaries to make the city's lawmakers more accountable, given that this is an annual stressor. Why can't we use technology to forecast problem areas where flooding and other rain-related issues will escalate? Surely, we have the best brains here who can ensure the average train/bus commuter gets some respite with better, smoother facilities in the rains."

The sky was overcast, and both friends felt it would be best to head back to their respective pedestals. "Stay well, my friend. My former bosses won't hear the last of this," thundered Sir PM. He was on a mission to prepare a blueprint to help speed things up for his dear citizens.

mid-day's Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city's sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her.
She tweets @bombayana. Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com