Ideally, you don’t argue with writer, conversationalist Javed Akhtar; you discuss, listen, and save the gems forever!
Screenwriter, lyricist and poet Javed Akhtar. Pic/Kirti Surve Parade
Writer Javed Akhtar equates religion with alcohol. If you drink wine, measured — “a couple of pegs/glasses might actually increase your longevity.”
Likewise, he says, “Not that I know, or I’m sure — a little bit of religion might be good for you too.”
But the tendency of people with both is to err on the side of misuse/abuse. As a public intellectual, Akhtar, 80, has been vocally against god and booze.
In the case of the latter, because he dealt with alcoholism at a certain phase in life: “Wrapping up a bottle [of booze] every night; whether or not there was company.” Once whiskey didn’t suit him, he switched over to beer, glugging down “18 bottles per session.”
With religion, his relationship is more straightforward — he’s an avowed atheist.
Off and on, I’ve been interviewing top conversationalist Akhtar since my 20s (I’m in my 40s now). Engaging with him in a discussion has been one of my favourite journalistic pursuits. Which is what you ideally do with Akhtar; rather than debate/argue.
Therefore, as we meet for a two-hour-long recorded chat, I gently submit, if atheism that strongly propagates, “yeh nahin hai,” or this isn’t — in matters of faith — could, in its certitude, be no different from religion, that decrees, “yeh hi hai,” or this is it! Both sounding potentially dogmatic.
Whereas the answer to things you don’t know could well be, “I don’t know,” and that is agnosticism, in a way, isn’t it?
Akhtar vehemently disagrees, “This is called ‘god of the gaps’. Wherever you have information/knowledge gaps, you fill it with god. Look at human history, you’ll find god retreating/receding as science (by way of explanation) grows.
“God was in floods, earthquakes, weather, clouds, rains, harvest, snakes, diseases…. As you solve these puzzles, god goes out.
“And whatever you’ve figured [about the above] is not as a result of faith; but from questioning. Now, god is left in the unpredictability of life, afterlife, and the vastness of the universe.”
Speaking of which, the fact is the world itself is a mystery; and in that mystery, more often than not, resides faith. And I don’t necessarily mean here, a god, in the likeness of man. Just a power beyond human comprehension.
For, we genuinely don’t know, why’re we here? Akhtar finds this “a pompous question of homo-sapiens to ask, why (we’re here)!
“You’re redundant, like a blade of grass. You never wonder [otherwise] for an ant, mosquito, cockroach… You’re the same. A sperm that got stuck to an egg; our existence is that random. We are nothing.”
But now that we’re here, he argues, “In that [brief] interval between nothingness and nothingness, you get temporary membership to human society. You should be thankful to this club. Being its decent member, if you can contribute something to it, well and good; there is nothing more to it.”
Even in that vein, what if someone was in a calamity; more specifically, say, dealing with life of a loved one, in death-bed, and they prayed (to an imagined god), which made them feel better—would that be such a bad thing, I ask Akhtar.
He says, “Maybe out of compassion/pity, I may accept that person praying. Which is totally futile.” But it’s not like one can do any better for comfort, at such a moment, anyway, right?
“Why can’t we accept that then,” Akhtar asks, to add, only in half-jest, “More practical would be to start believing that Elon Musk is your cousin, and will soon help you—try it. It’s not a stupid idea. At least he exists!”
It’s unlikely that Akhtar has ever visited a place of worship. But, according to me, his most fun stories come from a place where another kind of ‘faithfuls’ frequently seek/find solace.
That is, a tavern/madhushala. To be precise, one, Bailey Seth’s tharra (illicit country liquor) bar in Bandra, during prohibition-era Bombay of 1960s/’70s.
He speaks fondly of the “cute” owner Bailey Seth, with a letter-pad that said, “Bailey [Film] Productions”; the drinking buddies around him, Subhash Ghai, Shatrughan Sinha, (cinematographer-director) Sudarshan Nag; debating Ghalib, with Mani Kaul…
One such drunken night, young Akhtar gatecrashed into Faiz Ahmed Faiz’s performance in Bombay’s Rang Bhavan, cut through the security drill, got into Faiz’s car, pretending to be an acquaintance, and ended up spending the night at the great poet’s hotel suite!
This is only possible from Dutch courage, derived from alcohol. Such great stories—I wonder why he wholly disses daru then?
“That’s because I’m incapable of being moderate at anything; and that’s the problem.” But that’s still a “you problem”, rather than a “we problem”!
Akhtar admits, “Anybody who can drink in moderation should. It’s good for your nerves; relaxes you. Your lack of confidence reduces….”
After ditching whisky, beers, he’d “come to realise, rum is the best drink for Indian conditions. And we make very good rum. I’ve tried Mexican rum, and others; Indian is the best.”
Hah, got him to sorta endorse rum, at least. Minor victories.
Mayank Shekhar attempts to make sense of mass culture. He tweets @mayankw14 Send your feedback to mailbag@mid-day.com
The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper
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